Venezuela day 6

Today has once again been a full day.  I think the theme for the day has been and a child will eat them.  I am repeatedly astounded by the passion and excitement they the people here have for their faith.
Today has once again been a full day.  I think the theme for the day has been and a child will lead them.  I am repeatedly astounded by the passion and excitement that the people here have for their faith. I love how they pray in a disconnected unison.  The chorus of voices is beautiful and it adds to the power and perceived influence of the prayers.

At the cultural expression party tonight it was apparent how much they love their home and how much hope they have for the future.  They have faith that belief in Christ and lives lived for Christ can not only change their personal lives but the future of the country too.  I was especially moved by their interest in praying for us and our country.  As an arrogant American I often feel like when we pray for other countries it is places that are ravaged by war and poverty.  As a person who lives in a country which seems to have it all ( whatever that really means) I had never thought about people in other countries feeling it was necessary to pray for us.   The sense of community here has been so powerful.  Most of these people came to this event without knowing each other but I see them as a family.  They instantly love one another and embrace each other as well as us with Christian affection.

At the cultural night I was also impressed by the children.  They are so talented and their dramas depict an honest version of life here.  They don't try to white wash the situation but instead embrace it as real and look to faith in Christ as the answer.  In the USA I think we often feel God is a personal God and when God does we want then God is one to order the life of the country but when people don't get what they want they see God as uninterested and uninvolved.  I also appreciated the child's willingness to call the adults out for not being passionate enough.  All too often I see people who want children to be seen and not heard and here they are allowed to speak a prophetic word and still be children.  They seem to be just as much an integral part of the church as anyone.  I am so grateful for this experience and I know as I continue to process I will continue to learn and that I am leaving this place different than when I came.

Venezuela day 7

today it was overly apparent how great this experience has been on both sides of the cultural line.  In our Wesley group today we talked a lot about balance.  We talked about the things we liked about each culture and how neither extreme is truly healthy.  As Americans we need to allow ourselves to focus more on relationships with each other and with God letting the Holy Spirit lead and influence the moment instead of being stuck to a schedule and an over focus on individualism.  The Venezuelans in our group felt that they did not focus enough on being respectful of time and schedule.  They agreed relationships are important but expressed that it can go too far.  This group was really influential today for me.  We talked about tithing not just our money but our time as well and that the same principle applies that tithing will not make us short in resources - time, talents or money, but that giving our resources and our best to God will have positive results.

I am continually impressed her by the enormous amount of hope and trust the people here put in the Holy Spirit.  As an American I am familiar with the language but for me it has always been an existential notion.  Sure, we have hope in Christ but it is less about this life and more about the next.  In general it is true but I typically have little trust that what I want and what I pray for is truly part of God's plan.  I sometimes have the attitude that I should not really ask for things but instead to ask to be more aware of God's plan.

One of the things I have noticed about this culture and prayer is how even when one person prays everyone else prays in a hushed tone.  Seems to add a sense of power and a realization that if prayed together there is hope that God will hear and act on behalf of the group

Venezuela day 5

Today has been a fun and exciting day both spiritually and personally.  It was great to be able to get out into the city and worship with our Venezuelan brothers and sisters and see the city and countryside.  I actually got to see two worship services.  I went to resurrection church which was very interesting.  The man who preached was a government official who is feeling a call to the ministry.  He preached a very Old Testament prophetic message based on 3 texts from Isaiah.  It was very much a message of hope but also an anti government message.  He talked about how the government was corrupt and did not have the interest of the people at heart but that we should turn to God and not the government for care and provision.  It ended with a hug fest which I didn't really understand.  Afterwards, Ted and I were asked to speak on YHWH radio. A station in the first floor of the church.  It was very brief but also very interesting.
We also got to hear the tail end of the message at a smaller church on a hilltop.  It was open air and beautiful.  They are starting an orphanage and it was fun to play soccer with a 3 yo and a balloon. We also got to watch a drama of a girl on the streets and how Christ defeated the enemies around her and saved her.  It was very moving and the teenagers did a great job.

Seeing the beauty of the land and the mass poverty in this country was astounding to me.  Although we passed farms they were growing plants to make alcohol not food.  We passed nurseries but no fields for food.  There was trash everywhere and nearly every flat surface was covered in graffiti.  Some neighborhoods we passed were nicer than others but most would have qualified as poor in the states.

One of the things I am learning this week is how to face and sometimes embrace feelings of uncomfortableness.  Everything is out of my comfort zone and I find I am reluctant to volunteer for things that at home I would not hesitate to do.  Since many situations are new and uncomfortable I am learning to fight through those moments of resistance and doing so has been a blessing.  I am making friends I may have avoided or not made at home, I am taking emotional risks that will help me grow as a person and as a disciple of Christ.  I have always thought there is little in this world left up to chance.  I have always believed I have been put in situations for a reason, even if I never fully understand those reasons, people are put in my life and I in theirs for long and short so that we can learn and grow to be the people God created us to be.  It is the moments of uncertainty and uncomfortableness that we rely more on God and less on our own skills and when God's work is most evident.

Venezuela day 4

Wow, what an emotional day!  I feel that I will be saying that phrase again.  I have realized today that dispute the cultural and language differences we really are more alike than different.  We have similar frustrations in our ministry, our testimonies are similar, we sing and worship to some of the same songs and most of all, we desire to be in relationship with others and with Christ.

This week I have been aware of a spiritual blockage in my life.  This is not the first time i have felt this way in my life.  as I discerned a call to the ministry i often felt this way. But, today as I have spent time in prayer and conversation with others I realize that this is a defense mechanism that I use when I feel I am being called by God to step out of my comfort zone.  I put up this wall, trying to shut God out, and not submit to hearing the voice of God.

I am not sure what God is calling me to do.  I know I am being lead to allow myself to be more open and vulnerable to others but I know it is more than that. I know that one of the purposes of this trip was to learn how to be more comfortable opening up about faith and sharing faith with others through evangelism but I am also feeling this on a more personal level.  It is scary to really put trust in God and to allow God to lead me when I can't see where I am going.  Especially when it seems counter to my natural predisposition to be in control, and what I precieve as acceptable and comfortable.

I was a little relieved and disappointed when we did not go out in the community to witness.  The extreme emphasis on safety was a little off putting and I was a little self conscious about how the door to door witnessing would go, but I really want to leave the campus.  I want to explore and see what the country is really like out side these walls and gates.  I took it as a sign from God when the only thunderstorm of the trip started as soon as we were to leave.  I don't know what we were being protected from but I appreciate it non the less.

I am really looking forward to going into the community and local churches for worship and lunch tomorrow.  I am getting used to hearing God with a Spanish accent and I am sure the Holy Spirit will be wherever we are.

Venezuela day 3

Today has been full of new experiences and getting accustomed to my new environment.  The Venezuelan and Americans are beginning to mingle more and more. We are slowly teaching each other our languages and communicating more and more.  I am beginning to understand more of what is said but I am still struggling to speak Spanish.  Hospitality and gestures of welcome and love transcend language.  I wok up this morning with an orange beside my pillow and freshly made hot tea from my new Venezuelan friends.  As we begin to share there are a few people who are great translators and invaluable to our attempts to get to know each other.

We have had some interesting discussions about culture today. It was clear to me that as Americans, even though well intended often try to push our cultural agendas on other cultures where it may or may not be applicable.  We tend to think if something bothers us it is our duty to educate and make an issue in a culture where it is not an issue.  There are simply language and culture barriers that no matter how much you argue I passionately about an issue it is probably not going to change the whole Latino culture.

I did learn a lot today.  I sort of knew that Methodism is new to Venezuela but since I have been a part of the Methodist family most of my life, I forget that people need education on the basic structure and functions of the global church.  Reminding us that the structures of the church are not intended to be limiting and prohibitive but supportive and helpful.  Stories were shared today reminding people that even successful churches early on often falter when even seemingly small challenges and hardship occurs.  This is also a reason for the global church as well as the denominational family to work together towards the common goal of sharing the love of Christ with others.  Division within and among the churches will lead to chaos and will cause us to lose our focus on Christ.  

I was really glad to also hear today the stress of the presenters on the idea that evangelization is a process.  The people here are excited and on fire for Christ and the excitement is contagious but it is important to remind us that evangelizing is not a one and done event.  You don't meet someone on the street, introduce them to Christ, then walk away.  It is a process of introducing people to Christ and integrating them into the family of God through the church through teaching, support and community.

Tomorrow is a day of fasting and faith sharing in the community.  I am excited and nervous.  I am excited about seeing the community outside the walls of the seminary but at the same time I am anxious about the logistics and stepping out of my comfort zone to share my faith with people I don't know and don't fully understand the culture and language.  Lots of prayer will go into this and I am sure it will be a growing moment for me and for many others here.

Venezuela day 2

I am not exactly sure how to describe this day.  We got to sleep in a little which was desperately needed but my morning shower consisted of only cold water. It was "take your breath away" cold.  Although the coffee here is great after the shower it wasn't really necessary.  The people here are so friendly.  My new Venezuelan roommates are sweet and try very hard to communicate although I understand very little.  A few people are trying to teach me more Spanish and I hope by the end of the week I can understand  at least  1/2 of what is said.  I do ok as long as they speak slowly and clearly.  I am really enjoying spending time with the WMEI group. We are quickly forming friendships and I am amazed how quickly I feel like I have connected with some of them.

It is a little odd being around so many pastors.  While trying to set up today it was difficult to listen and not be " in charge" of whatever it was that we were doing.  We have about 60 Venezuelans here and things seem to be running fairly smoothly.  The evening ended with holy communion. It is amazing to me how wonderful it sounds to hear the mummered prayers of so many people speaking a different language, songs sung and scripture read and even without understanding it felt holy and special.

Receiving communion is one of the things I miss now that i am often the one presiding.  I realize the importance of the experience and I strive to offer a genuine experience to my parishioners but i do not have the same emotional  response when I serve as I do when I receive.  I was a little put off when we stopped mid worship service to introduce the local bishop from brazil who was just arriving because of a delayed flight.  But it was still moving and meaningful none the less.

I really enjoyed our groups candid and honest conversation afterwards. It was nice to be able to talk without having to work so hard to find the words and it was nice to be able to share opinions, observations and reactions to the previous days adventures.  And although there were different "levels" of people present, all experiences were heard, respected and appreciated.   I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

Venezuela day 1

What an interesting roller coaster of a day. Beautiful morning with wonderful hospitality and smiling faces. The travel to Venezuela was safe and uneventful but once we landed it was clear that things would be a little different.  People here are curious and polite but very purpose oriented as we came through customs.  Considering it is nearly 1am and I am just now getting to bed while battling back pain, needless to say I am exhausted both mentally and physically.  I am not sure what I expected the seminary to be like but my only point of reference was a small college in the US.  It looks nice and seems clean but the windows don't have screens, ants in my room, and things are very rudimentary - no frills is kind of an understatement. I'm kind of worried I will wake up with a lizard in my bed.  I chose a top bunk hoping to avoid as many critters as possible.  It is hard to imagine life without things we so easily take for granted- toilet paper, sewers that work and an abundance of clean water.
I realize that at times in our lives we need to be broken down, pushed to the edge and relinquish any sense of personal control to allow God to show us a new way, a new aspect of our relationship with Christ, and to teach us and remind us of the sovereignty of God.  As I feel a little broken today and well out of my comfort zone I am excited and curious to see what God has planned for me as an individual but also this group as a whole.  I am sure my life will never be the same after this experience but how it will be different, only God knows.  I pray that this week will be a blessing for me, our group, this school and this community.  We will just have to wait and see what daylight brings.....

Aruba

7/30
Tonight is our second night in Aruba.  It has been a great experience.  The people here are warm and friendly, more hospitable than I would have ever imagined.

After two nights of "revival" with the Arubian Methodist churches I have struggled to feel the Holy Spirit. I know it is here in the people we have met and the ministry they are doing and among the people in our traveling band of preachers but I am realizing, even in this beautiful place, my skepticism runs deep.  I felt this the first night but was trying to withhold judgment but this feeling remains.  Last night it felt that the service was manufactured and "evangelistic" by formula.  It seemed just like every other revival I have ever been to minus the " if you died tonight" and sinners prayer. The songs, the cadence volume and tone of the caller are all the same. I was fine the first night until the very end when it came time for the altar call.  But, I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.  Tonight I felt it again. Formulaic and somewhat insincere.  I have begun to realize through conversations with the others in our group that this may be holdover feelings from my previous experience at events like this, especially from my childhood.
I have been that person in tears on my knees at the front of the church.  I am sure it seemed sincere in the moment but non the less unchanged..... Always, tomorrow came and it was the same as before.  I realize it is easy to get caught up in the excitement of the moment and the emotions run high.  I have no doubt that God can work that way, and for some, sudden change may last.  I am confident that God will use this experience to work miracles in this community but I remain skeptical of the formula we call revival worship, and the long term effects events like this have on individuals and churches.

I realize that some people do have Damascus road conversion experiences but mine was more of the emmaus road type of conversion experience.  I have been at that altar many times but never really understood and accepted the love and grace of Christ until I had time to process and that was a slow realization for me.

I did really enjoy the messages, music and especially the personal testimonies.  It amazed me how much I related to both Mark and Sheryl's stories.  I love that even though God calls us each in a personal way, it is still recognizable in the stories of others.

wait and see

We are leaving tomorrow for our trip and while I am excited about the trip, about learning about evangelism and just seeing what God has in store I am hoping that I am prepared.  I feel like in general I am pretty flexible and willing to do and try just about anything but until today I had not thought about the emotional tole traveling may take on a person.  I have traveled before but it has always been to vacation spots which cater to Americans.  I realized today that this will be my first opportunity to experience what it is like for many immigrants who come to the states.  I have thought about what people from other countries may feel like coming to the United States, not understanding the customs, language and systems of this country.  I guess, this experience will be my first taste of what that is really like for them.  I know it won't be exactly the same due to the fear many immigrants feel coming to the US but it will probably be the closest I get to that experience.  It is always a good practice to learn empathy and be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes.    My other "worry" is whether or not my current state of exhaustion will affect my ability to be flexible and maintain my mental acuity. I realize that God can and does work even when we are not at our best and often works in spite of ourselves.  I know that God is at work in this trip and I will leave a different person that I arrive and with God's help it will be for the better.  I guess we will just have to wait and see what God has planned!

What to Expect

As the time quickly approaches for our departure I am beginning to get a clearer picture of what to expect and what I hope to get out of this trip. 

As we discuss faith sharing and evangelism I am really hoping that this experience will help me to become more comfortable and more effective in sharing my own faith and experiences of Christ. I hope to learn new and effective ways of evangelism and how to encourage others to share their faith.

I also am hoping to learn new ways to help ignite the passions of those in my congregations. 
When I think about Paul and how often he talked about how it was impossible for him not to share the faith with others; I realize that evangelism is more than responding to a request from Christ to go,  proclaim, baptise and make disciples.  It is about being in tune with how the love of Christ is active in your own personal life.  I think as people become comfortable with their faith they begin to forget or take that relationship for granted.  Maybe people who have never known life without church forget how important and essential their faith is and have a difficult time thinking about what life would be like without it.  I am hoping that I will become more effective at helping people remember and communicate their own faith stories.  Once people remember why they need Christ and how essential it is for their everyday life it would be impossible to not want everyone you know to feel the same way. 

We never hesitate to share our favorite restaurant, movie, music, and the tools of life we don't want to live with out.  If we really feel like we can't live without Christ we should be just as willing and eager to share Christ with others too. 

Evangelism

I admit I am one of those people who when I think of door to door "evangelism" I immediatly think of the Mormans and Jehovah's Witnesses.  And I openly admit that if I realize who it is in time I won't answer the door.  I respect what they do and I understand thier motivation behind it but it is not an interaction I enjoy.  I have always been one who could talk to just about anyone and one of my first jobs out of college required me do this.  For some reason, I could knock on a stranger's door and within an hour they would be sharing the most intimate details of their sex life and drug use. (I was a Syphilis and HIV investigator).  I was always amazed at how quickly people would open up when it meant saving their life or the lives of the people they know.  I am not sure why this same concept is so hard when you are talking about someones eternal life?  For some reason, I seem to have bought into the same concept as many in society that religion is a personal matter.  I am open to talk with anyone who brings it up or if I am generally having a conversation with someone and they want to talk about it fine.  When it comes to going door to door though it seems intimidating.

As a pastor, I wish we could come up with a different word for evangelism. Just the word seems to send people running for the hills no matter what it actually looks like.  Maybe if it had another name with less baggage and history people would at least entertain the idea instead of being immediately turned off.  Faith sharing in general seems to be a difficult task for a lot of people.  They have long bought the idea of "actions speak louder than words" and will often quote St. Frances "Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words."  It is much easier to just be nice to people and call it faith sharing and yet often times, no one ever knows the motivation behind why the kind deed was done. The church has long catered to people's reluctance to truly encounter people where they are and allow and many times encourage their members to "Go" by sending UMCOR kits, money, and other hands-on mission opportunities instead of actually meeting the people.  I realize that these services are beneficial and not everyone can go into a disaster area but it seems to have become a crutch for those who want to feel good about themselves without getting their hands dirty.

I am hoping that this trip and participating in the seminar will help me learn how to combine missions and evangelism in new and exciting ways, to ease people into new ways to witness and interact with people and to learn to be more comfortable with faith sharing myself. 

one month to go

It is hard to believe that in one month, I will be in Venezuela. 

My books for this class came today so I am going to be busy reading over the next four weeks.  I am supposed to be "reflective" about this trip and prayerful about what is in store for us.  While I am praying about it, I don't feel like it is part of my nature to be deeply reflective.  I try to be open to where the spirit is leading me and take advantage of the opportunities given to me.  I learn from my experiences and am excited about all that I will learn, see and and experience while on this trip.  I am hopeful that the books we have been assigned will offer new insights, lessons and information that will be helpful in my own spiritual growth but also in my ministry and in the lives of the churches I serve.  Although I have known "evangelism" is not something that comes naturally to me or I feel at this point I am well equipped to do, it became even more apparent as two 10 year old Jehovah's Witnesses came to my house today.  It is hard enough to communicate your beliefs, feelings and faith to people you know and who are interested, I can't imagine how uncomfortable and challenging it is to cold call on people who may reject your message out right and will most likely not be kind in their reaction.  Maybe this experience and the other classes I am choosing to take while at Candler will give me more confidence and willingness to go out on a limb with my faith and help me teach and encourage others to do likewise.  At this point I feel like a sponge ready to drink in this experience and and see how it will impact God's work through me. 

God at Work

5/23/13

It is amazing how God works and makes things happen just as they should.  One of the current churches I pastor, has been approached with the opportunity to become a multi-lingual congregation.  It would be the combination of an existing older Anglo congregation with a new and growing Hispanic house church.  I have no idea how to pastor/lead a multi-lingual congregation.  It occurred to me that this trip to Venezuela may be a big help in learning how to do this.  It makes me even more excited about the possibilities of all the things we will learn and be exposed to on this trip.  I am continuing to pray about all the possibilities and prepare for what to expect on this trip.  It is amazing how God is already in this trip, working and preparing the way for this trip, the after effects of all that will be learned and experienced, and used in the furthering of God's kingdom and learning how to share the love of Christ that crosses cultural, racial, nationalities, and language barriers.  

Prepairing for the journey

5.3.13

As a seminary student at Emory University, Candler School of Theology I am excited to go on my first international experience for hands on learning about missions and evangelism.   I am going to Barquisimeto, Venezuela for with the World Methodist Evangelism Institute.  We will do a pre- conference tour in Aruba to learn more about Evangelistic worship then to Venezuela for the conference. 

We had the first meeting of our group this week and I am excited about going.  I think we have a good group of people and since I already know at least one person it is reassuring that while I will be getting to know lots of new people there will also be at least one person around that I am already familiar. 

We found out this week that We will have the opportunity to lead worship, devotions, and even preach during our trip.  Even though I preach every week, for some reason I am reluctant to do so in this situation.  I am sure part of it is that I don't fully know what to expect from the experience.  It has been interesting to me realize what is intimidating to me and what is not.  I am not normally one to turn away from being in charge but this is different. 

My prayer for this trip will be to be open to new experiences and to learn what God has prepared for me and for this part of my journey of faith.  I am trying to not have preconceived notions of what that may be.

The things that seem to be my questions right now are more about how to prepare- travel vaccines, how to pack, will we have access to laundry, can you put arrosol bug spray in a suitcase, and do I need to bring linens... seemingly silly questions I know but it is what I am thinking about.  I think we will be staying in a dorm at a small theology school and I wonder how comparable that is to American dorm rooms.  Also,  I have downloaded an app to brush up on my Spanish- one would think that after 5 semesters in undergrad, 2 years in High School and 8 years working with latino children I would know more than I do-  I am really rusty!

I know that this is going to be a great experience.  I am really looking forward to participating in a new culture, new forms of worship and the international cross cultural sharing of faith.  The Holy Spirit knows no language barriers- it will be amazing to see in person I know.