Venezuela day 4

Wow, what an emotional day!  I feel that I will be saying that phrase again.  I have realized today that dispute the cultural and language differences we really are more alike than different.  We have similar frustrations in our ministry, our testimonies are similar, we sing and worship to some of the same songs and most of all, we desire to be in relationship with others and with Christ.

This week I have been aware of a spiritual blockage in my life.  This is not the first time i have felt this way in my life.  as I discerned a call to the ministry i often felt this way. But, today as I have spent time in prayer and conversation with others I realize that this is a defense mechanism that I use when I feel I am being called by God to step out of my comfort zone.  I put up this wall, trying to shut God out, and not submit to hearing the voice of God.

I am not sure what God is calling me to do.  I know I am being lead to allow myself to be more open and vulnerable to others but I know it is more than that. I know that one of the purposes of this trip was to learn how to be more comfortable opening up about faith and sharing faith with others through evangelism but I am also feeling this on a more personal level.  It is scary to really put trust in God and to allow God to lead me when I can't see where I am going.  Especially when it seems counter to my natural predisposition to be in control, and what I precieve as acceptable and comfortable.

I was a little relieved and disappointed when we did not go out in the community to witness.  The extreme emphasis on safety was a little off putting and I was a little self conscious about how the door to door witnessing would go, but I really want to leave the campus.  I want to explore and see what the country is really like out side these walls and gates.  I took it as a sign from God when the only thunderstorm of the trip started as soon as we were to leave.  I don't know what we were being protected from but I appreciate it non the less.

I am really looking forward to going into the community and local churches for worship and lunch tomorrow.  I am getting used to hearing God with a Spanish accent and I am sure the Holy Spirit will be wherever we are.