Venezuela day 6

Today has once again been a full day.  I think the theme for the day has been and a child will eat them.  I am repeatedly astounded by the passion and excitement they the people here have for their faith.
Today has once again been a full day.  I think the theme for the day has been and a child will lead them.  I am repeatedly astounded by the passion and excitement that the people here have for their faith. I love how they pray in a disconnected unison.  The chorus of voices is beautiful and it adds to the power and perceived influence of the prayers.

At the cultural expression party tonight it was apparent how much they love their home and how much hope they have for the future.  They have faith that belief in Christ and lives lived for Christ can not only change their personal lives but the future of the country too.  I was especially moved by their interest in praying for us and our country.  As an arrogant American I often feel like when we pray for other countries it is places that are ravaged by war and poverty.  As a person who lives in a country which seems to have it all ( whatever that really means) I had never thought about people in other countries feeling it was necessary to pray for us.   The sense of community here has been so powerful.  Most of these people came to this event without knowing each other but I see them as a family.  They instantly love one another and embrace each other as well as us with Christian affection.

At the cultural night I was also impressed by the children.  They are so talented and their dramas depict an honest version of life here.  They don't try to white wash the situation but instead embrace it as real and look to faith in Christ as the answer.  In the USA I think we often feel God is a personal God and when God does we want then God is one to order the life of the country but when people don't get what they want they see God as uninterested and uninvolved.  I also appreciated the child's willingness to call the adults out for not being passionate enough.  All too often I see people who want children to be seen and not heard and here they are allowed to speak a prophetic word and still be children.  They seem to be just as much an integral part of the church as anyone.  I am so grateful for this experience and I know as I continue to process I will continue to learn and that I am leaving this place different than when I came.

Venezuela day 7

today it was overly apparent how great this experience has been on both sides of the cultural line.  In our Wesley group today we talked a lot about balance.  We talked about the things we liked about each culture and how neither extreme is truly healthy.  As Americans we need to allow ourselves to focus more on relationships with each other and with God letting the Holy Spirit lead and influence the moment instead of being stuck to a schedule and an over focus on individualism.  The Venezuelans in our group felt that they did not focus enough on being respectful of time and schedule.  They agreed relationships are important but expressed that it can go too far.  This group was really influential today for me.  We talked about tithing not just our money but our time as well and that the same principle applies that tithing will not make us short in resources - time, talents or money, but that giving our resources and our best to God will have positive results.

I am continually impressed her by the enormous amount of hope and trust the people here put in the Holy Spirit.  As an American I am familiar with the language but for me it has always been an existential notion.  Sure, we have hope in Christ but it is less about this life and more about the next.  In general it is true but I typically have little trust that what I want and what I pray for is truly part of God's plan.  I sometimes have the attitude that I should not really ask for things but instead to ask to be more aware of God's plan.

One of the things I have noticed about this culture and prayer is how even when one person prays everyone else prays in a hushed tone.  Seems to add a sense of power and a realization that if prayed together there is hope that God will hear and act on behalf of the group

Venezuela day 5

Today has been a fun and exciting day both spiritually and personally.  It was great to be able to get out into the city and worship with our Venezuelan brothers and sisters and see the city and countryside.  I actually got to see two worship services.  I went to resurrection church which was very interesting.  The man who preached was a government official who is feeling a call to the ministry.  He preached a very Old Testament prophetic message based on 3 texts from Isaiah.  It was very much a message of hope but also an anti government message.  He talked about how the government was corrupt and did not have the interest of the people at heart but that we should turn to God and not the government for care and provision.  It ended with a hug fest which I didn't really understand.  Afterwards, Ted and I were asked to speak on YHWH radio. A station in the first floor of the church.  It was very brief but also very interesting.
We also got to hear the tail end of the message at a smaller church on a hilltop.  It was open air and beautiful.  They are starting an orphanage and it was fun to play soccer with a 3 yo and a balloon. We also got to watch a drama of a girl on the streets and how Christ defeated the enemies around her and saved her.  It was very moving and the teenagers did a great job.

Seeing the beauty of the land and the mass poverty in this country was astounding to me.  Although we passed farms they were growing plants to make alcohol not food.  We passed nurseries but no fields for food.  There was trash everywhere and nearly every flat surface was covered in graffiti.  Some neighborhoods we passed were nicer than others but most would have qualified as poor in the states.

One of the things I am learning this week is how to face and sometimes embrace feelings of uncomfortableness.  Everything is out of my comfort zone and I find I am reluctant to volunteer for things that at home I would not hesitate to do.  Since many situations are new and uncomfortable I am learning to fight through those moments of resistance and doing so has been a blessing.  I am making friends I may have avoided or not made at home, I am taking emotional risks that will help me grow as a person and as a disciple of Christ.  I have always thought there is little in this world left up to chance.  I have always believed I have been put in situations for a reason, even if I never fully understand those reasons, people are put in my life and I in theirs for long and short so that we can learn and grow to be the people God created us to be.  It is the moments of uncertainty and uncomfortableness that we rely more on God and less on our own skills and when God's work is most evident.

Venezuela day 4

Wow, what an emotional day!  I feel that I will be saying that phrase again.  I have realized today that dispute the cultural and language differences we really are more alike than different.  We have similar frustrations in our ministry, our testimonies are similar, we sing and worship to some of the same songs and most of all, we desire to be in relationship with others and with Christ.

This week I have been aware of a spiritual blockage in my life.  This is not the first time i have felt this way in my life.  as I discerned a call to the ministry i often felt this way. But, today as I have spent time in prayer and conversation with others I realize that this is a defense mechanism that I use when I feel I am being called by God to step out of my comfort zone.  I put up this wall, trying to shut God out, and not submit to hearing the voice of God.

I am not sure what God is calling me to do.  I know I am being lead to allow myself to be more open and vulnerable to others but I know it is more than that. I know that one of the purposes of this trip was to learn how to be more comfortable opening up about faith and sharing faith with others through evangelism but I am also feeling this on a more personal level.  It is scary to really put trust in God and to allow God to lead me when I can't see where I am going.  Especially when it seems counter to my natural predisposition to be in control, and what I precieve as acceptable and comfortable.

I was a little relieved and disappointed when we did not go out in the community to witness.  The extreme emphasis on safety was a little off putting and I was a little self conscious about how the door to door witnessing would go, but I really want to leave the campus.  I want to explore and see what the country is really like out side these walls and gates.  I took it as a sign from God when the only thunderstorm of the trip started as soon as we were to leave.  I don't know what we were being protected from but I appreciate it non the less.

I am really looking forward to going into the community and local churches for worship and lunch tomorrow.  I am getting used to hearing God with a Spanish accent and I am sure the Holy Spirit will be wherever we are.

Venezuela day 3

Today has been full of new experiences and getting accustomed to my new environment.  The Venezuelan and Americans are beginning to mingle more and more. We are slowly teaching each other our languages and communicating more and more.  I am beginning to understand more of what is said but I am still struggling to speak Spanish.  Hospitality and gestures of welcome and love transcend language.  I wok up this morning with an orange beside my pillow and freshly made hot tea from my new Venezuelan friends.  As we begin to share there are a few people who are great translators and invaluable to our attempts to get to know each other.

We have had some interesting discussions about culture today. It was clear to me that as Americans, even though well intended often try to push our cultural agendas on other cultures where it may or may not be applicable.  We tend to think if something bothers us it is our duty to educate and make an issue in a culture where it is not an issue.  There are simply language and culture barriers that no matter how much you argue I passionately about an issue it is probably not going to change the whole Latino culture.

I did learn a lot today.  I sort of knew that Methodism is new to Venezuela but since I have been a part of the Methodist family most of my life, I forget that people need education on the basic structure and functions of the global church.  Reminding us that the structures of the church are not intended to be limiting and prohibitive but supportive and helpful.  Stories were shared today reminding people that even successful churches early on often falter when even seemingly small challenges and hardship occurs.  This is also a reason for the global church as well as the denominational family to work together towards the common goal of sharing the love of Christ with others.  Division within and among the churches will lead to chaos and will cause us to lose our focus on Christ.  

I was really glad to also hear today the stress of the presenters on the idea that evangelization is a process.  The people here are excited and on fire for Christ and the excitement is contagious but it is important to remind us that evangelizing is not a one and done event.  You don't meet someone on the street, introduce them to Christ, then walk away.  It is a process of introducing people to Christ and integrating them into the family of God through the church through teaching, support and community.

Tomorrow is a day of fasting and faith sharing in the community.  I am excited and nervous.  I am excited about seeing the community outside the walls of the seminary but at the same time I am anxious about the logistics and stepping out of my comfort zone to share my faith with people I don't know and don't fully understand the culture and language.  Lots of prayer will go into this and I am sure it will be a growing moment for me and for many others here.

Venezuela day 2

I am not exactly sure how to describe this day.  We got to sleep in a little which was desperately needed but my morning shower consisted of only cold water. It was "take your breath away" cold.  Although the coffee here is great after the shower it wasn't really necessary.  The people here are so friendly.  My new Venezuelan roommates are sweet and try very hard to communicate although I understand very little.  A few people are trying to teach me more Spanish and I hope by the end of the week I can understand  at least  1/2 of what is said.  I do ok as long as they speak slowly and clearly.  I am really enjoying spending time with the WMEI group. We are quickly forming friendships and I am amazed how quickly I feel like I have connected with some of them.

It is a little odd being around so many pastors.  While trying to set up today it was difficult to listen and not be " in charge" of whatever it was that we were doing.  We have about 60 Venezuelans here and things seem to be running fairly smoothly.  The evening ended with holy communion. It is amazing to me how wonderful it sounds to hear the mummered prayers of so many people speaking a different language, songs sung and scripture read and even without understanding it felt holy and special.

Receiving communion is one of the things I miss now that i am often the one presiding.  I realize the importance of the experience and I strive to offer a genuine experience to my parishioners but i do not have the same emotional  response when I serve as I do when I receive.  I was a little put off when we stopped mid worship service to introduce the local bishop from brazil who was just arriving because of a delayed flight.  But it was still moving and meaningful none the less.

I really enjoyed our groups candid and honest conversation afterwards. It was nice to be able to talk without having to work so hard to find the words and it was nice to be able to share opinions, observations and reactions to the previous days adventures.  And although there were different "levels" of people present, all experiences were heard, respected and appreciated.   I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

Venezuela day 1

What an interesting roller coaster of a day. Beautiful morning with wonderful hospitality and smiling faces. The travel to Venezuela was safe and uneventful but once we landed it was clear that things would be a little different.  People here are curious and polite but very purpose oriented as we came through customs.  Considering it is nearly 1am and I am just now getting to bed while battling back pain, needless to say I am exhausted both mentally and physically.  I am not sure what I expected the seminary to be like but my only point of reference was a small college in the US.  It looks nice and seems clean but the windows don't have screens, ants in my room, and things are very rudimentary - no frills is kind of an understatement. I'm kind of worried I will wake up with a lizard in my bed.  I chose a top bunk hoping to avoid as many critters as possible.  It is hard to imagine life without things we so easily take for granted- toilet paper, sewers that work and an abundance of clean water.
I realize that at times in our lives we need to be broken down, pushed to the edge and relinquish any sense of personal control to allow God to show us a new way, a new aspect of our relationship with Christ, and to teach us and remind us of the sovereignty of God.  As I feel a little broken today and well out of my comfort zone I am excited and curious to see what God has planned for me as an individual but also this group as a whole.  I am sure my life will never be the same after this experience but how it will be different, only God knows.  I pray that this week will be a blessing for me, our group, this school and this community.  We will just have to wait and see what daylight brings.....